hamiltonVmachine

Back and Ravenous

2010-07-09T11:33:00.000-04:00

Looks like Robbie woke up. And boy is he hungry!

Obstruction

2008-10-24T01:22:00.004-04:00

Robby performs the Heimlich Maneuver on Mr. Peanut.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH

2008-10-10T14:16:00.001-04:00

One Two Combo

2008-10-06T15:20:00.002-04:00

More free food courtesy of Robby and one of our friends.

Robby helps us get real paid

2008-09-29T16:58:00.003-04:00

What day is it? IT'S PAYDAY BITCHES!

A fun little pile on results in the ULTIMATE Payday. These are giant candy bars, by the way. We had to get help carrying them away from some Freshmen that were standing around watching us.

Special thanks to some eagle-eyed friends for helping spot this one.

There's an Errant Coil... Oh and We're on Bwog

2008-09-18T11:00:00.003-04:00

Believe it or not, things have been pretty quiet in Robby land. While he's clearly been behaving more and more like a normal vending machine, there's still signs that he may suffer a relapse, like this weirdo coil. How did it get there? It's just another one of Robby's mysteries.

Meanwhile, we've been Bwogged.

You win this round, Robby

2008-08-08T10:21:00.000-04:00

Oh man... well, we got a coil.

Same Method, More Spoils

2008-07-17T19:04:00.000-04:00

It never gets old.

Method and Spoils

2008-07-16T14:46:00.002-04:00

The method:

The spoils:

What will we do with all these chips?

2008-06-13T09:30:00.003-04:00

There are several bags of chips stuck in the front of the vending machine. Several basic laws of vending machine physics are at play here:

1. vending machines dispense product by pushing it forward using spools
2. vending machines will push product until it senses one has "dropped"
3. gravity

Watch the interplay of these basic forces. Hilarity ensues.

A Visit from the Doctor

2008-06-10T21:42:00.002-04:00

Today Robby got a realignment of vital organs and an implantation of shiny new coils. How long will he stay healthy?

Meow

2008-04-16T09:24:00.003-04:00

Will this Kat's righting reflex kick in before falls?

Slanted

2008-04-16T09:16:00.003-04:00

You will get $1.25 plus the candy if you can get these fruity snacks dispensed.

Et tu, Brute?

2008-04-01T12:56:00.003-04:00

Rolled Gold's bold roll

2008-03-27T10:15:00.004-04:00

This coil really thinks you should switch to a low carb diet.

Robby, the Wonder Bot

2008-03-19T13:45:00.002-04:00

I have only one question: how?!

Refuse Correct Change

2008-03-17T19:06:00.007-04:00

Not only is Robby not accepting $1 bills, but he is not taking nickels, dimes, or quarters. All of these coins get stuck almost immediately upon insertion. If you subsequently jab Robby in the right place, they fall to the coin return. This happens to also be, thankfully, and somewhat surprisingly, the end result when you hit his coin return button.

Unfortunately I didn't have my $0.90 coin on me to purchase the bag of pretzels which was screaming "Eat me!!!"

Monday Morning Breakfast

2008-03-10T11:14:00.004-04:00

We came in this morning to find that Robby had tried to eat a Pop Tart. As you can see, he didn't quite succeed in eating the Pop Tart, but he did succeed in eating a dollar.

Hi, I'm Robby

2008-03-06T11:50:00.001-05:00

Pleased to meet you.

No Spin Zone

2008-03-06T10:34:00.003-05:00

Where is my coil?

Here it is!

SURPRISE!!!

2008-03-05T11:48:00.008-05:00

Yet another prime example of merchandise mangling by the maniacal manacles of the munch machine. This one was taken a few months ago. As I recall, the experience was somewhat harrowing as I had not yet witnessed the awesome power of the Silvery Spirals of Doom™, nor had I come to fully comprehend their innate ability to fail with such bravado. Now that we all know better, we can appreciate these self-destructive anomalies with a sense of sublime awe. Here, Robby appears as a furious mother, crying out to the world in desperation, "Please do not take my snacky children!" As she holds fast, we pledge to continue documenting the epic saga as it unfolds, one botched sale at a time.

Chewy

2008-03-04T16:48:00.006-05:00

Bonus of the day: Sweet 'N Salty Mix purchased for regular price ($1). It fell. Opened the door and voila, there was a pack of Dentyne Cinnamon gum waiting patiently with the mix for my retrieval.

Look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair!

2008-03-04T13:47:00.002-05:00

VENDING MACHINE: Oh, I'm sorry. Were YOU going to eat that?

We Shall See

2008-03-04T13:14:00.003-05:00

The fix-it man came. It appears that he replaced the glass that protects the sweets from the ravaging temper of the common passerby. He also realigned the tampered shelving and dispensing coils.

Robby is rejuvenated, full of life and candy. I'm skeptical. How long will it be before he stops accepting $1 bills again?

Reports of Domestic Disturbance

2008-03-04T11:15:00.008-05:00

Our hallway friend gets abused on a regular basis. It's perfectly normal to hear classics sounds like 'KAPOW!' and 'CRACKAKOW!' coming from the hallway as paying college students take out their academic frustrations on the poor dispenser of tooth-destroying sweets.

To be fair, the machine regularly screws people over:

"Put a dollar in me and watch your snack of choice be delivered to you, O' hungry one.

Wait...wait...oh darn...there's just this small hitch...the snack you wanted just got stuck in my silvery spirals of DOOM.

That's right, your snack is just going to dangle in front of you. What are you going to do about it? That's right, curse and moan, and then leave empty-handed and a dollar lighter...sucker."

Basically, the machine will spin its gears but then the bag of chips you wanted will get snagged on its way out. You can try another dollar to get your delicious treat, but....FORGET THAT.

So someone who is about to fail their next midterm tends to go with Plan B, which is to $%^& the machine up in the hopes of jostling their cholesterol ridden food out of its cave. We've watched people rock the machine back and forth, pound the glass that protects the food, and generally have their way with it.

Just this Saturday, I watched a high school kid of the street lying on the floor next to the vending machine, with his arm up to the armpit inside the machine. I'm sure you can lose an arm like that, is it really worth the trouble? No allowance money, you say?

Anyhow, we all love the machine dearly because it supports our biological processes. I'm proposing to call it Robby for now, to help garner respect for it.

It could be worse than just mincing our snack orders; it could just decide to blow us all up next time we use it.

Craving

2008-02-29T17:35:00.000-05:00

I wanted some candy today at about 3:28pm. I tried, but no luck. No dollar bills accepted, no change accepted. Maybe he'll have a restful weekend and do better next week.

A four-bagger

2008-02-28T23:42:00.000-05:00

Wow! There it was. Four bags of chips for the price of one!

Easy. We approached our humble vmachine. Put in $1 and quadruple our investment. SwiftG tried a dollar bill. Denied. I tried a quarter. Denied. Came right out the return slot. I tried a nickel . Denied. I tried a dime. Denied. Others of the squadron came to help make this dream come true. At last one of our apprentices busted out his special ID card to flex his Flex. Denied.