Rolled Gold's bold roll

This coil really thinks you should switch to a low carb diet.

Robby, the Wonder Bot

I have only one question: how?!

Refuse Correct Change

Not only is Robby not accepting $1 bills, but he is not taking nickels, dimes, or quarters. All of these coins get stuck almost immediately upon insertion. If you subsequently jab Robby in the right place, they fall to the coin return. This happens to also be, thankfully, and somewhat surprisingly, the end result when you hit his coin return button.

Unfortunately I didn't have my $0.90 coin on me to purchase the bag of pretzels which was screaming "Eat me!!!"

Monday Morning Breakfast

We came in this morning to find that Robby had tried to eat a Pop Tart. As you can see, he didn't quite succeed in eating the Pop Tart, but he did succeed in eating a dollar.

Hi, I'm Robby

Pleased to meet you.

No Spin Zone

Where is my coil?


Here it is!

SURPRISE!!!

Yet another prime example of merchandise mangling by the maniacal manacles of the munch machine. This one was taken a few months ago. As I recall, the experience was somewhat harrowing as I had not yet witnessed the awesome power of the Silvery Spirals of Doom™, nor had I come to fully comprehend their innate ability to fail with such bravado. Now that we all know better, we can appreciate these self-destructive anomalies with a sense of sublime awe. Here, Robby appears as a furious mother, crying out to the world in desperation, "Please do not take my snacky children!" As she holds fast, we pledge to continue documenting the epic saga as it unfolds, one botched sale at a time.

Chewy

Bonus of the day: Sweet 'N Salty Mix purchased for regular price ($1). It fell. Opened the door and voila, there was a pack of Dentyne Cinnamon gum waiting patiently with the mix for my retrieval.

Look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair!

VENDING MACHINE: Oh, I'm sorry. Were YOU going to eat that?

We Shall See

The fix-it man came. It appears that he replaced the glass that protects the sweets from the ravaging temper of the common passerby. He also realigned the tampered shelving and dispensing coils.

Robby is rejuvenated, full of life and candy. I'm skeptical. How long will it be before he stops accepting $1 bills again?

Reports of Domestic Disturbance

Our hallway friend gets abused on a regular basis. It's perfectly normal to hear classics sounds like 'KAPOW!' and 'CRACKAKOW!' coming from the hallway as paying college students take out their academic frustrations on the poor dispenser of tooth-destroying sweets.

To be fair, the machine regularly screws people over:

"Put a dollar in me and watch your snack of choice be delivered to you, O' hungry one.

Wait...wait...oh darn...there's just this small hitch...the snack you wanted just got stuck in my silvery spirals of DOOM.

That's right, your snack is just going to dangle in front of you. What are you going to do about it? That's right, curse and moan, and then leave empty-handed and a dollar lighter...sucker."

Basically, the machine will spin its gears but then the bag of chips you wanted will get snagged on its way out. You can try another dollar to get your delicious treat, but....FORGET THAT.

So someone who is about to fail their next midterm tends to go with Plan B, which is to $%^& the machine up in the hopes of jostling their cholesterol ridden food out of its cave. We've watched people rock the machine back and forth, pound the glass that protects the food, and generally have their way with it.

Just this Saturday, I watched a high school kid of the street lying on the floor next to the vending machine, with his arm up to the armpit inside the machine. I'm sure you can lose an arm like that, is it really worth the trouble? No allowance money, you say?

Anyhow, we all love the machine dearly because it supports our biological processes. I'm proposing to call it Robby for now, to help garner respect for it.

It could be worse than just mincing our snack orders; it could just decide to blow us all up next time we use it.